Ridiculousness

So this NYT writer decided he wanted to make a list of 100 things no food server should ever do. While some of these are good tips, and some are pretty obvious to anyone with a pulse, the rest are just RIDICULOUS!!! This writer either has NEVER worked in a restaurant—or did so about 30 years ago.

I am only commenting on the ridiculous ones! This list can be found in its entirety here

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
- Um, yeah in a perfect world I do not have 6 tables to worry about who all need something. If your server approaches your table, you should give THEM your full attention. Not ignore them.

11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.
-Ok, if there are only 2 of something left, I would like to know this, so I can tell the waiter, oh please make sure I get one. I don’t want to find out they are out of it simply because I spent my sweet time ordering.

23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
-Ok, THIS is the reason I am writing this. The list did not seem all that ridiculous until this one. Like your server has time to steam off the bottle label???? Has this EVER happened to ANYONE??? If you want the information, write it down!

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
-What? My waiter should be constantly making sure my glass has wine in it. And it’s hard to keep track of 6 tables without remembering which ones want to self pour. If you want to self pour, TELL the waiter, or just DO IT.

30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
-Ok, the waiter should make sure the bottle does not have dust or dirt on it before taking it to the table!!! And there shouldn’t be dust or dirt under the foil, if there is, the waiter should wipe it before pouring.

33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
-Excuse me? I’m sorry, either the waiter is doing it ON PURPOSE, in which case they are a jerk, or ON ACCIDENT which means it could not be avoided! This is just idiotic.

39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
-Well, the term is “ladies and gentlemen.” What should the waiter say??? Female??

42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
- Huh? By NOT complimenting everyone at the table? It's this kind of logic that LSAT question writers relish.

Stay tuned for the next 50 which come out next week! Eeek!